Adventures in Calgary

On Monday I had my 35 week doctor's appointment. I hadn't seen my regular doctor in a month because I've been trying to meet all the other doctor's in her practice that might be present at our birth. When she saw me she knew right away I hadn't been looking after myself. She wasn't too pleased to hear about my work schedule or stress levels. I'd developed another infection and had some other minor things going on and she decided I needed a week off work to see if I could get myself back on track.

Monday was very hard for me. I felt like such a failure. I hated having to tell work that I needed time off even though I think they knew I couldn't keep up with the crazy schedule forever. They have been great about it so far.

Monday was full of tears and sleeping until it was time to go for our doula meeting and last pre-baby birth class. Talk about an emotional day! Putting together our birth plan with Tania and Jen went really well but I was pretty fragile so I can only imagine what they were thinking of me. If nothing else, at least they got a good look at who I am and the kind of pressure I put on myself to succeed. I'm pretty happy with our choice to hire them as our birth partners...they are both very realistic, honest, intuitive and down to earth.

We still have a lot to think about...including what kind of pictures we want taken (if any). I personally can't imagine bringing a camera into the delivery - it seems like too personal of an experience for that but then again I can't imagine not having the outside perspective of what it was like. Much more thought is needed on my part.

I decided Tuesday that not working was stressing me out too much so luckily my boss is allowing to me continue with one of my projects from home and that seems to be going well so far.

My next doctor's appointment is on Friday and then I'll have a better idea of whether or not I should be going back to work.

It's funny, I'm still not hating being pregnant. So many people have told me how hard these last few weeks are but I don't see much difference at all. Writing that has probaby jinxed me.

Crib? Check. Bedding? Check. Diapers? Check. Wipes? Check...too many other baby supplies to mention? Check. Now all we need is Molly Rose.

It was so cool to get up to pee in the night and see our crib assembled. I can already imagine Molly sleeping (or more likely laying and crying) in it. I can't wait to see what she looks like and what her personality is going to be. I think these last 5 weeks are going to go very, very slowly.

Assembling the crib wasn't nearly as horrible as I'd been fearing. Noel and I managed to get everything but the sliding rail done on our own without any fighting. Then the directions failed us. Luckily, our neighbour Brent came in and was able to come to the very obvious conclusion that the directions were wrong. Once we were able to stray from the directions we had the last piece of the crib installed in no time.

Washing and drying the new crib mattress protector pad did not go as well. We already ruined it. Again, we followed the directions and got bit in the ass! Now our plastic backed mattress pad has got holes melted into it. Oh well.

Supposedly we're getting another package full of homemade blankets, sweaters, and whatnot from my mom this week. I can't wait to see all the new cute gear. My mom is a crocheting machine!

Today I had an afternoon of domesticity as I converted a beautiful tea cozy that Turner and Ash got us in India into a throw pillow. I haven't sewn anything since grade 11 I think. My finger hurts a bit from not using the thimble enough but other than that it was a very pleasant experience. Who knows, maybe I'll start sewing stuff?!?!?!

We're only 5 weeks and a bit away from Molly's due date and things are finally start to seem real. Not that we're prepared...there just seems like there's an endless list of things to do before she arrives and things to accumulate. Today I got the furnace and ducts fixed and cleaned. No crib or diapers yet but at least we'll have clean, warm air circulating for Molly's homecoming.

Babies and weddings can be such a money pit if you're not careful. I think we're doing well so far in accumulating baby gear second-hand but it is so easy to slip into consumer "everything must be new and shiny" mode. Luckily I've got lots of friends helping me to keep my perspective. Even Stan the furnace guy was offering me baby stuff today! I love how generous and wonderful people are being about sharing their stuff. It started with the bags of maternity clothes that were offered up and the generousity just keeps on coming.

This is my first posting with a picture. I wish I had a better one to post. I got Noel to take this last weekend after working all day on Sunday. I was dead on my feet but was determined to document my growing belly. The first picture he took I looked like I was going to kill someone. This was the second picture where I was forcing a smile and trying despirately to at least LOOK awake.

This weekend we're going to put a big push on sorting the basement (I won't let Noel bring anything new in the house until this is done - can you say CRAZY?), getting diapering supplies, and installing the car seat...maybe once these things are done my low level anxiety will start to lessen.

Today is week 33. This past weekend Molly decided to exert her own power and will by torturing me Saturday night. Every time I tried to sleep on my side (which all the books say I should do) she would punch or kick me in the ribs - causing me extreme pain - until I moved back onto my back. The battle lasted most of the night...so much for getting rest after my all night shoot.

I've also started to dream about Molly every night. I've dreamt about changing her diapers. Last night was all about feeding. I guess I'm just starting to prepare for her arrival.

I spoke with our doula Jennifer today (finally). We had a great chat. We're going to try to meet with her and Tania in 3 weeks to start on the 'birth plan'. I feel like there's still so much to do. I wonder if we'll ever feel prepared.